Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dear Unknown Caller...

I am going to assume since you are not leaving a message that it is not important. And maybe you think I am dodging you thinking you are a bill collector or telemarketer. It really is the two times you have called I didn't hear the phone. My silly blackberry just isn't that loud. In fact once it was in my pocket so either my phone is stinking barely a whisper (true dat!) or the kids were yelling and carrying on (probably both dag nabbit!) so I didn't hear it. I promise it is totally not on purpose.

THe issue is I might assume it is nothing BUT I am paranoid it is something. IN fact it is nearly driving me crazy. See it isn't your fault that I was raised on guilt and paranoia. The guns in the house were always loaded even if they weren’t (actually this is from any fire safety class and very smart to do so I am not knocking it but it is little things like that add to the bigger paranoia issue), we will get sued if you are driving in the car and get in an accident, make sure you always lock the doors people are crazy, etc. I could go on and on. It is a constant struggle for me to step outside my house and not see danger around. It is amazing my kids are not in a bubble! But I do worry about them way too much when they are not with me. I force myself to allow their father to take them to events as he might bring them back broken somehow. It is such a silly thing but other than taking meds is very hard to break. I hope I am not the only one out there! That would be comforting. (sigh) Or like last night I was laying away in bed thinking man what if I have to get a real job and they google me and see my blog and where I saw I hate people and I don’t get hired. I mean people, I hear, do look up myspace and facebook to see if viable employees. But then I am like at the same time I put that I am overly nice and how I am just human. And who isn’t… right… right??? (sigh again) I hate to be bullied even by myself so I am sticking to it. And besides all those followers I dream of… probably won’t happen.

Anyway I digress… in conclusion please be kind to me and leave a frickin message next time as I am in a tizzy and not sure if I saw your none number I would answer. At this part I am terrified it is bad news that I just don’t want to deal with! Remember the rule is no news is good news!!

Thank you for understanding... Sincerely ... me

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I am a dork!

I totally accept this and think it is a quirky fun trait of mine. Somethings that make me a dork. (now this is subjective and might not make you a dork.. I am only speaking of myself)

1) I love graphic novels and collected before children (funny how diapers are more important then what happened with the latest Witchblade epidsode) I use to have big dreams of writing my own novellas. One was very fun and included this crime fighting dominatrix. I know I could have made it work but I lack passion (so a long story I am sure I will muse about at some point)

2) I love 80's music and sci fi. This is due to my best friend in the world who took me as a spoiled princess into rap music and romance novels and turned me into the better person who can quote Firefly and still mourns the death of the dresden files on tv!

3) I am intelligent but at the same time a huge flake! I am notorious for double booking plans, struggle to make sure I am on time for things (took me years to realize this is rather selfish as if the other person's time is less valuable then mine!) and often do not understand conversations and get confused easily. (this actually comes in handy when you want to act like you don't get anything... like when you think some hot guy is hitting on you ... because you want him too... but you are not totally sure he is and don't want to make an ass of yourself... I digress)

4) I like to use big words even to my three year old who has no idea what I am saying.

5) I want to be famous but sadly know it won't be for something worth being famous for.

6) I am facsinated with serial killers and how they tick

7) I have all these awesome ideas in my head but live in fear of success so I just drudge alone.

8) I obviously like to use these ( ) and .... too much in posts.

9) I went to college to be a social worker but I hate people. I like individuals but hate people. If that makes any sense. Really I want to be a social worker so I can get a masters in psychology so I can help rich people solve their problems. Sorry but I love money. I do make myself volunteer and help because I have this constant inner struggle where my family raised me to be a uber nice midwestern girl but really I think I should be a cynical new yorker. I often hate I can't be really mean to anyone. I am so nice it is annoying!

10) Lastly (though I am sure there are way more out there but really I am a person who needs perameters and contained) I am a half cup full girl who is always fighting with my half empty evil twin that resides in me. (So kinda bi-polar but without the need to be super manic... really I am just to lazy for that :D )

So the point of this blog is to give me a place to do my musings. I have been following blogs for awhile now and have one for my crafty stuff but I feel the need to do one that is mainly talk about my silly thoughts and observations. And the dorky stuff I do that I think is funny. Plus I always have dreams of having like 100 followers. (cross fingers lol)